A True Best Friend

Many people, not all, go through different best friends throughout life. I believe you can have several Best Friends at one time. However, usually a person only has one real, True Best Friend. Someone with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship. I have been blessed to have found my True Best Friend here in Tennessee. 

This is a person that just in a matter of months there is such a deep bond that it seems that we have known each other for our whole life. In fact, I even over heard someone ask this friend if we had known each other since childhood. I realized then that our friendship was so strong that others assumed we had known each other for a lot longer than actually was the case.

This person knows what I’m thinking just by the look on my face. The connection is so strong that one word is complete sentences between us. We have such a connection; we know when the other is in distress or in need.  This is a person I love, have nicknames for each other, inside jokes and have pointless text-a-thons with everyday.

This friend is family and gives the opinion I care most about. A true best friend is the one who tells you the things you absolutely need to hear regardless of whether you want to hear it or not.  It is this friend that you can be around always and never get sick of.  This is the person you are grateful to have as a friend and confidant.

This true best friend is not only someone you have a good time with, it is also someone you know you can trust your life with. Someone you can totally be yourself around and not give a care in the world about your actions or feelings because they won't judge you for the stupid things you may do or say.

Yes, I have found my True Best Friend. It is said that God puts people in your life at specific times and you may not know the reason. I know this is true for God placed me with this remarkable individual to experience this ultimate friendship. For you see, my True Best Friend was diagnosed with stage four cancer not long after we met.  I questioned why God would place the two of us together at this time only to eventually take this wonderful relationship away. I realized it was not for me to question his reason but to make the most out of this fantastic friendship.

As a friend, as a care giver, I pledged to this True Best Friend that I was going to see him through this fight. I am there for him and his wonderful family to provide support, care and love. God placed us together at this time for this journey and I would not want to be anywhere else doing anything else but to be here with him.   I know I have a True Best Friend that I will always remember no matter what comes about. I may lose the only true best friend I will ever have, and even when I  get new "best friends" .. this old, real True Best Friend will always be on my mind and forever in my heart.

 For my True Best Friend. Luke A Henry. From the heart of your True Best Friend, the Bulldog!

Keep Dancin' Larry B.

 

 

 

Radom Acts of Kindness and more

February 17th is Radom Acts of Kindness Day. Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day. You know what to do...perform a few random acts of kindness. Almost any kind deed will do.  We highly recommend you perform kind acts on as many people as you can.

This is a favorite day of many people and groups. People like the idea of showing a little kindness to others. It's a fun and good thing to do. And, they like being on the receiving end of this day as well. It makes both the giver and the receiver feel good.

Schools have used this day as an educational event, and to promote the value of kindness. Organizations have used this day to promote their cause, and for fundraisers.

We do have to caution you. What comes around, goes around. Random Acts of Kindness is highly contagious.

Of course, since the Valentine's Day has come and gone. We get to have another reason to send chocolate. On  February 19th is Chocolate Mint Day. This day celebrates anything and everything that is chocolate mint flavored. The most common chocolate mint treats are ice cream, candies, and desserts. Not everyone likes chocolate mint. But those who do love it. No, we don't know why some people don't like this great flavor. But, we do feel sorry for them!

For Chocolate Mint lovers, this is truly a great day. Whether its candies, ice cream or desserts, make sure to get your fill of Chocolate Mint.

As a young boy, George Washington made the Cherry tree popular, with his famous quote "I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down the Cherry tree." We celebrate George Washington's Birthday and President's Day in February. Appropriately, its traditional to bake cherry pies in honor of the occasion. On Cherry Pie Day, February 20th, celebrate with a piece of pie.

If Cherry Pie is not your thing, This day is also "Love Your Pet Day".  A day to pamper your pet. People just love their pets, and today is an easy excuse to spend time with them, and to give them special treats. Whether it's a dog, a cat, a fish, a pet snake, or your pet rock......give them lots of love and attention today.  If you don't have a pet, maybe today is the day to adopt a pet. Take a trip to your local Humane Society, and bring home an animal that needs you. It will make you both feel good.  Of course, in our house, every day is Love your Pet Day....

February 22 is " Be Humble Day". On this day you are not to brag or to boast. It's not a time to talk about your success or accomplishments. Be Humble Day can be a humbling experience. That's exactly the intent of today. Humbleness is a good thing, a virtue. People much prefer a humble person to a braggart.  Practice humbleness on the 22nd, and every day. It will serve you well in life

Keep Dancin

Till Next time. LB

Cancer and the Care Giver

Cancer comes in many forms and attacks every location of the body. Each one presents with its own unique symptoms and challenges. The disease process has been around as long as man himself. The earliest documentation comes from ancient Egypt around 1500 BC.

As a nurse and care giver for nearly 30 years, I have taken care of many Cancer afflicted individuals. It is never an easy task working with a patient that may not survive their illness. You provide the best care you possibly can and offer as much support as possible to make their life comfortable and high in quality.
It can even be more taxing on the family/care givers than the cancer afflicted person themself. I found this to be extremely true when I took care of my mother as her cancer progressed.  At the time, I could not or would not put my stress on my immediate family they were going through their own stressors. I was a professional but as a family member I was totally at a loss about finding assistance for myself.                                  

I recently have had one of the most rewarding experiences in my personal and professional life. I am helping a dear friend deal with his fight with cancer. Being a friend and not family member has allowed me to see my friend and his family in a different perspective.  I have gained so much insight to family dynamics, every day struggle with cancer and  what both sides need to face the fight and still all of involved keep their sanity in dealing with the disease, the insurance, and the medical profession.

For if the primary care giver over extends themselves there is no one there to assist the patient in need. This time I am going to be there. Everyone's focus is on the person dealing with the daily fight that those supporting and/or providing care are left to deal with their heartache, stress and fatigue alone.

There are support groups to assist caregivers by offering counseling and respite care. It always seems that unless the local groups are entrenched at the hospital or care centers. Those that need them may never know they are available. The main reason is that professionals involved are focused on the person with cancer and neglect those taking care of the afflicted individual.

As caregiver for a loved one, you have to first know all you feelings are normal. You will experience anger, sadness, grief, loneliness, and guilt. You have to work through these feelings while at the same time deal with your loved one’s exact same issues.  It is difficult for both sides to express these issues with each other. The Caregiver wants to keep a positive supportive front and the cancer afflicted individual wants to keep any other stressors off their family/caregivers.

I did a web search and immediately found 7 support links for cancer care givers. But unless the caregiver has the foresight to seek support, a lot of times those of us in the medical profession drop the ball at assisting the care giver.

This time I, as a nurse, a friend, an adopted family member, plan on making a difference in the care of the afflicted individual and the family/care givers.

www.cancer.org/treatment/caregivers/index

www.cancer.net/coping/caregiving/being-caregiver

www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/caring-for-the-careg...\

cancer.about.com/od/howtocope/a/burnout.htm

www.dana-farber.org/Adult-Care/Treatment-and-Support/Pa...

www.facebook.com/pages/Cancer-Caregiver-Support-Group/1...

www.cancercare.org/tagged/caregiving

JUDGE BY DEEDS HONOR THY WORD

I am always amazed when I tell someone I will do something and when I do it; how surprised they seem to be that I am a person that keeps his word.  I suppose we all become jaded toward our fellow man that we expect nothing. So we are surprised when someone actually does what they say they will do.

I was reared in the Midwest and it was instilled into me as a young child that you do whatever you state you will do.  Be that for the family, friends or strangers.   I was taught that you treat others as you wish to be treated. You state you will do something you do it and that everyone was the same in God’s eye and you should treat everyone the same.

I strive to be a good man and to do whatever I can to help others in need. I see so much hate, so much distrust and so much of the “ME” attitude around me. I can understand at times because of the economy, stress of job and family that one can become this way easily.  I can say that I have seen less of this since moving back to the Midwest and it is very refreshing to actually have others even say “hello”,” thank you” and “How may I help you”.

Is it that in the larger metropolitan areas that everyone is just too busy trying to survive?  They have forgotten that the only way to truly survive is to reach out to others, to accept the differences that God has created and to treat each other with respect and dignity.  I don’t have the answers and probably never will.

I know that who I am I cannot change. I know I will always look after my family, my friends and try to help complete strangers. It is what I do and hopefully it is enough.  I may not be rich in terms of wealth but I am rich beyond believe with love, understanding and compassion for those in my life and those that I encounter along the way in this life.

I recently told a new friend that is dealing with a health crisis that no matter what I was going to be there to assist him and his family. I was not going anywhere. It is who I was, that once you become a friend you become part of my family. I am like an old grizzly bear protective to my last breath.  I think at first he was skeptical that I would be there for him and his family.  I think he has come to realize that I am a man of my word. 

I honor my word, with action and not just speech. I honor my family and my beliefs by doing the best I can each and every day.  It is who I am, it is what I am.  Who among you can say the same?

Happiness Comes from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. When I feel like the world is just too heavy, I first always take a deep breath and remember my grandmother. A woman, that no matter what life presented, she always was able to laugh and enjoy life. I always admired that about her, it was not till later in life that I understood that happiness came from a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

A counselor once said to me that “loving means accepting.”  To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lay a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, winning and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy. Every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

So my sister will understand this. Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFL. Every time you take a step forward, you score points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each day and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out.”

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest pay. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, and the bravest or not even the best.

Everyone has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as many best-selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a business man may mean success. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. It’s about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling yourself “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults, You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”. For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

So one last time the question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll leave you with this great quote- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

Keep Dancin’ LB