Vacationing at Home

I decided to take a week off from work but this time there were no plans made as to what I/We would do for the week. We had discussed renting a cabin on the lake, going to Missouri, but decided to just stay home. The first day, I actually, did not know what to do with myself. I had nothing on my calendar! No place to be, no computer, no phone and no schedule. To say, I was bored is an understatement.

I finally realized it was vacation mode that I needed to wrap my mind around to fully enjoy this week. So I got busy there were things that I wanted to do that are difficult to arrange when you are tied to a desk during the week. I started with researching, and making appointments to obtain my backyard project estimates. That in process, it was time to get my work station in my cave cleaned up and re-organize the rolling shelves.

I have reviewed the types of Christmas lawn blow ups we have on hand and which ones will be necessary for this year’s lawn theme. What will be the front yard center piece and the back yard theme? There is a new Blowup calling my name so my plan may change by Thanksgiving.

The new Dance Gig is starting in a week and I have reviewed my first set of dances to teach. I have developed my plan of action to succeed with this new venture at Murph's Country Music Barn. Since Murph's has a live band that rotates through different styles of country, my goal is to always be teaching a dance per week that the dancers will hear from the band. I can then add newer dances to songs that can be played during the band breaks increasing the number of opportunities for the Line Dancers to get up and shake their money makers.

I knew I had achieved vacation mode when I felt at ease with sitting on the deck reading. I have completed two books and closing in on number three. I am shooting for 5 this week.  Reading for me relaxes me to the point of dosing and is my favorite vacation relaxation activity and this week there has been just enough chill in the air to sit on the deck, coffee steaming and lose myself in pleasure reading.

Today, we took a drive to Paducah to spend some time visiting our extended family the Henry's. It was a great visit and lunch with Sarah, Melissa, Megan, Brian and Santa Butch. Thanks for a great day.

To top off the week, Paul and I are going to a Halloween theme party on Saturday. This year's theme is Super Heroes. The Flash and Green Lantern are planning to attend.  I am sure it will prove to be an interesting evening; this is our introduction activity with a new group we just joined.  What better way to meet a whole group of new people but dressed up as Super Heroes...

Paul has started his Christmas Embroidery project and has been sequestered in his cave most of the week. It has been a great relaxing week, even if it took me a day or so to get into that vacation frame of mind. Vacationing at home is an art not to do too much around house and achieve that vacation frame of mind.

Keep dancin' Larry B

When You Least Expect it!

As many know I have struggled to establish a Line Dance Class since moving to Tennessee. I was able to do a gig at the Clarksville Athletic Club for a fund raiser for Breast Cancer that ran for four months in 2012.

Then I was blessed to meet Luke Henry, who put in a good word for me with City of Clarksville Parks & Recreation Department. I was contracted for a 6 month gig for them at the Crowe Community Center.

I had decided after Luke passed to get back to dancing. I found the Clarksville Dance Club and started taking classes for myself in September 2013. I put starting my own class on the back burner. I just was not in the right frame of mind to market myself or the leg work to locate an establishment to host classes. I just wanted to dance and take classes for myself.

On October 3, 2013, which was the second month anniversary of Luke's passing, Patricia, my Thursday night Dance Instructor, asked me for my Line Dance Business card. She said she wanted to pass it on to the owners of Murph's Country Music Barn. I had just heard about Murph's through the dance club as a great place to dance.

On October 4, Patricia called and told me that she had passed my information to Murph and his wife. She stated I should expect a call about starting a Line Dance Class. The next day, we gathered and paid honor to our friend Luke at Morton's Outlook in the Smokey Mountains and I updated my friend on things while sitting on his favorite outcropping.

The following Monday, I got a call from Murph and when I returned the call I spoke to his lovely wife, B. We had a great chat and they wanted to meet me to discuss how we could benefit each other. They were looking to bring more people in on their Saturday night dance and would like to offer their facility for a beginner class if we got a good response on Saturday nights.

I met Murph and B on Saturday, October 12 and they are the nicest people you would ever meet. The facility is huge but is warm and welcoming as you enter. This venture is their retirement activity. They hold weddings, special dinners, weekly auctions, and weekly dances. Murph's is a great family place to sit back listen to some good music and dance your night away on Saturday night.

We have agreed that I will start teaching a class at the Saturday night Dance on November 2, 2013. I have gathered information on the songs done at Murph's and working on putting a Dance Lesson together.  Working with Murph and B to bring more clientele to Murph's Country Music Barn is going to be an exciting new adventure and a new avenue for establishing a class.

I could not have asked for a more accommodating couple to work with as Murph and B. I know my new guardian angel is watching over me and ensuring I get back to teaching.

Keep dancin' Larry B.

 

Final Farewell

October 5, 2013, Luke Henry’s family gathered at what he termed his Favorite Place on Earth. Morton’s Overlook in the Great Smokey Mountains was this place for my friend Luke. He told me over and over that part of his ashes was to be scattered at this site. He told me where they were to be scattered and that he did not want a formal ceremony. He said he just want his family to reflect on his life. He wanted all of us together and to enjoy the time together. My friend, mission accomplished just as I promised.

We often think we need words to fill our world; yet scattering the ashes in a tranquil and beautiful setting, nothing needed to be said as each individual was left to be with their own thoughts of Luke. It was best to scatter ashes quietly and without much fuss/fanfare as a sign of respect to Luke and also to keep its worldly attachment to the minimum.

More Americans these days are scattering loved ones' ashes widely, with great purpose and often without permission—an act known in the funeral industry as a "wildcat scattering." It's a reflection of both the marked rise in cremation and the growing desire by people to find their own ways to ritualize grief.

Before about 1980, just 4% of families were choosing cremation over burial. Now, 39% select cremation, and in the next 15 years, the percentage is expected to approach 60%, according to the Cremation Association of North America. The increase is being driven in part by cremation's cheaper cost, and in part by the fact that fewer extended families are rooted in one specific place anymore—which means they don't live close enough to visit a loved one's gravesite.

Choosing to scatter the ashes, rather than preserve them in an urn or bury them in a cemetery, is also becoming more popular. The Cremation Association's surveys indicate that about 135,000 families are now choosing to scatter ashes each year. In the past decade, more than 40 companies have been created to help people scatter ashes legally on land and sea by getting permissions and permits. But most families opt for wildcat scatterings, surreptitiously spreading ashes in favorite parks, stadiums, fishing spots or wherever else feels meaningful.

Scientists agree that there is no health or environmental hazard from the spread of human ashes. "It's mineral-based and typically, with wind and rain, will melt into the soil within days," says John Ross, executive director of the Cremation Association.

Grief experts tell us that it is very important to establish a permanent memorial to help survivors deal with the continued cycle of loss. This is especially important to those that choose to scatter ashes. Survivors need a place to go where they can reflect and hold onto previous memories for the years to come; a place that says, "I was here and lived a life!"  Luke ensured this part was also taken care of and has a permanent resting place in Riverside Cemetery in Hopkinsville, KY so family has a place close to visit and reflect.

If you're not sure about an appropriate scattering area, or have questions on what kind of ash scattering ceremony will be a meaningful experience for your family, it is always a good idea to consult with your funeral director. They have experience in planning such scattering events and can be very helpful in creating the kind of scattering of ashes event you desire. Today’s funeral directors act as event planners, and have the resources and contacts to get things just right for this final tribute. Keep in mind that whatever funeral services you select, scattering ashes is just the final disposition and that you can still conduct traditional funeral services prior to the cremation.

Another difficulty with cremation scattering of ashes can occur when the remains are disposed of in an anonymous, unmarked or public place. Access to the scattering area may be restricted for some reason in the future, undeveloped land may be developed, or other conditions may arise that could make it difficult for your survivors to visit the scattering site to remember you. What if your survivors relocate sometime in the future? So give some thought and discuss specific desires on where the ash scattering ceremony will take place. It is always a good idea to retain some of the ashes to keep or to scatter in a separate location in the future.

I think Luke would have liked this poem. Rest in Peace, my dear friend. May your spirit always be with each of us and watching over the beauty of the Great Smokey Mountains.

Afterglow

By Helen Lowrie Marshall and published in 1958.

I’d like the memory of me

To be a happy one.

I’d like to leave an afterglow

Of smiles when day is done.

I’d like to leave an echo

Whispering softly down the ways,

Of happy times, and laughing times

And bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve

To dry before the sun

Of happy memories I leave

Behind – when day is done.

 

Keep Dancin’ Larry B

Time to Oneself

I realized the past couple of weeks that I had been on a continuous all hands on deck energy level for over 8 months. Yes, I know I am a thick headed Missouri Mule and it takes a freight train to get through some times. I had been with someone at all times of the day for past 8 month period.  I needed to totally be alone for a few days and pull back so I only had to think of myself. So that is what I did last weekend.

It was a perfect time for Paul to take a trip to visit Tom. I explained to Paul that I had not been alone since December 2012 at least any more than a few hours day. I needed to be alone for a few days to energize my psyche. I had to be with just me...

I know a few individual would have run screaming at just the thought of that scenario.  I took the time to let myself reflect over the past 9 months of my life. To say it was uneventful would be the farthest from the truth. It was the most rewarding, most spiritual, most frustrating, most emotional, most heart breaking 9 month period in my life. I can say without hesitation, I would do 99% of it all over again.

I did not sit around in thought and meditation all weekend but I did take the required time for me to get back in an even plane. I also was determined to push myself physically to ensure a whole body and mind cleansing. I was so sore Sunday I had a hard time getting up from sitting position.  I have not felt so at ease and exhausted in a very long time...

I have a refreshed out look over the past 9 months and an improved direction for what I need to do for myself.  I just need to ensure I allow myself to take the time for me on a more regular basis without guilt or feeling selfish. Each of you, need to take that personal time for a healthier outlook on life. Without this special time for reflection, meditation and physical activity, you mind and body gets fuzzy, sluggish and entrenched in just following the flow of life instead of actually leading your own life energy.

I know I feel more in control of leading my life in the direction I foresee best suited for meat this time, on this day, in October 2013. Who knows what tomorrow holds; life goes on.....

Keep Dancin' Larry B.