You spot a
totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a
glass of wine. You think to yourself, “She looks so perfectly calm and
confident.” But if you could read her mind, you would find her revolving thoughts and you might just be
amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here
alone?... Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look
too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”
We look at
a young business entrepreneur and say “What else could he ask for?” He stares
at himself at the mirror and murmurs to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder
why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad will work things out.”
Isn’t it
funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect
and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and think the
same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us.
We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self-
improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
You notice
that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a
foul mouth, and you are the last to know.
I have a
friend who never gets tired of talking.
In most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in
the things she has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid getting
trapped in conversations with her, and she doesn’t notice how she has become
socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in her environment.
One key to
self-improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who
you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to
discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always
sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when we’re
together?”. In this way, the other
person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self-improvement.
Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your
friend with constructive criticism that will also help improve their inner self.
One of
Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In
order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give
what you do not have.
Before
telling other people ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you
are a representation and a product of self-improvement. Self-improvement makes
us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world
will follow.
Each and
everyone of us has to stop thinking of oneself as a second-rate being. Forget the repetitive thoughts of “If
only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to
self-improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find
out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have
our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things,
better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for
people to be happy about themselves. Self-improvement and loving yourself is
not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are
the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to
improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.
Keep
Dancin’ Larry B
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