Memories of Maine

I was looking through old articles and saw this one from Ms. Honey. In celebration of her Birthday week, here is a repost from 2009....

From the moment we first made the trip to the mobile home at Wells Beach, the kids as well as Andy and I, just could not get enough of Maine. Not even the freezing cold water deterred the kids, of course, they were young. Picking Mussels off the rocks and crab catching was just the start of their summer fun. The mobile home park offered a lot of activities for the whole family from swimming, sports and a great recreational hall. 

A ride up the coast to Old Orchard Beach was a day of exploration for the kids, walking the beach and searching for treasure. All the while, mom was soaking up the sun  and relaxing the afternoon away.

When we bought the first beach house, the kids were older and the boys took up scuba diving and Andrea was the bathing beauty type.  The boys would take off to the cove and catch Lobsters for Andy and I to prepare.  Our family summers in Maine were beautiful, we would have great clam bakes on the deck of the beach house. The boys would invite their buddies up for the weekend, some time up to 8 teenage boys would be running around the place.  I can't recall the number of bushels of clams, mussels and sweet corn devoured on those weekends.

The neighbors were not always happy to see the boys arrive and set up camp in the lot beside the house. Andy had to field a few complaints due to the boys being loud late into the night,  yet  fun for all during those wonderful summer days.

By the time, the chalet was built, the kids were all grown and it was more of a time for Andy and I to enjoy our time in Maine.  I remember one week that my son, Brian and his buddies went up to paint the  chalet. Andy and I went up a few weeks later and boys being boys, we found evidence of girls being there as well. The pantyhose and Bra were great clues. The “boys” knew nothing about these items or how the beer bottle caps and labels got stuck to the front of the built in bar. 

The last time, Andy Jr. was at the chalet was on his honeymoon. His two Chows and of course, his bride had a great time. Then Brian with his wife and kids, Kim and Brian Jr. made visit on their own.

When I there alone in the summer, I took a part time job at Old Orchard Beach, where my friend owned a bathing suit and Beach Shop. That was fun for two years. Finally our lives got more involved in Florida and we were just not traveling to Maine as much so in 1990, the chalet was sold.

I miss it now but oh what great memories of our family summers in beautiful Maine.

 Quick New England Stuffed Mussels or Clams

 Steam claims or mussels in water and white wine with garlic, just till they open

Sprinkle season bread crumbs with grated cheese over each one. Drizzle melted butter and put under broiler, just till cheese melts

Enjoy with fresh squeezed lemon.  What a way to end a fun filled Beach Day..

In Loving Memory of  Ellen Valinski our Ms. Honey

Summer Weddings

I recently received a wedding invitation from two friends.  They had decided to tie the knot at the end of July.  I was thrilled when I got the invitation, these two has been dating for years and I had actually introduced them one summer at Barkley Lake in Kentucky. After reading the invitation a second time it sunk in that they were planning an outdoor wedding and in the heat of the Midwest summer.

Now I realize that May through August is the number one popular time of year to get married. Summer weddings are full of sunshine and warmth, and allow you to get married outside in good weather. Summer weddings are ripe for an outdoor setting such as a beach, a garden, or a beautiful yard. Couples love to take advantage of the long days with an afternoon wedding, or highlight the glorious sunsets by saying your vows as the sun goes down behind you.

That is all fine for the happy couple but as a guest at an outdoor wedding, how would I or anyone survive the heat while still looking chic and cool.  Not screaming," I'm Melting" just when the Reverend ask if anyone know what these two should not be married.  I am sorry if I am hot and sweating I may give them a few reasons why the ceremony needs to be finished quickly.

The best summer wedding that I have attended was for my best friends here in Florida. They decided to have a pool party themed wedding. The guests were advised to wear or bring their swim suits and that the reception would be poolside.  So even though they elected to be married under the coolness of air conditioning the reception was outside and everyone had a great day.

So as the happy event approaches for my friends in Kentucky, I thought I would advise the bride to of some tips she might want to send to her wedding guest to ensure everyone is comfortable and not passing out due to the humidity of the Kentucky summer.

 Outfit Look for a cotton sundress, slacks, or other clothing made of natural fibers. Loose fitting clothing will be your friend. For men, consider a light tan suit, cotton khakis, or the old-fashioned chic of seersucker.

Stay Hydrated Everyone knows water helps keep you cool. So carry a bottle of water in your purse. If you're a man, ask your date to hold it for you, or bring it in a white gift bag.

Horses Sweat, Men Perspire, Ladies Glow To combat sweat, for you ladies, don't cover your face with a thick layer of powder. Instead, do what top beauty editors do to rid themselves of shine - blotting papers. These powdery pieces of paper will absorb oils without coating skin.  Men bring along a handkerchief so you have an appropriate cloth to blot your brow as well.

The Wedge Will Save You! Stilletos are great, but they won't work at an outdoor wedding. Whether sinking into the grass, or tripping on cobblestones, you'll wish you'd worn a more sensible shoe. A Wedge will be far more comfortable. Or, you can go for the very trendy ballerina flat.

Wear Sunscreen- It may seem like a no-brainer, but sunscreen is a must. Especially when you're trying to stay cool, the last thing you want is blistering sunburn. You never know when the sun will shift, and you'll be standing in full sun, without the possibility of moving to shade.

I know the day will be a great time for all that participate, the location the couple have chosen is beautiful and has a great number of large trees. Now if I can just convince them that the guest chairs need to be lined up in the shade of those trees.

Keep Dancin  Larry B

"The Game of Life" Start your own coaching

Have you ever been a coach to a neighborhood team? I know how it feels the first time I've coached a team of kids and how much they can really test my patience, not to mention sanity as they run around like ants to a huge, white crumb. It feels strange at first, having to be stared at by a bunch of kids who know that I'm not the one in the field. Sounds wrong in a sense, right? But what is the deal about coaching?

Coaching is all about being a well, 'coach' in the corporate world of handlers, front-liners and even a couple of benchwarmers biding their time to be given a chance to perform. I know how that feels when I go back to my regular day job. Some players are just MVP material, and some of them are just to support the MVP's so why bother sticking around? It sounds ironic when they say 'there is no I in team', but even the underachievers can be sore losers as well.

These are steps that can be done within the day, and no matter what, it takes determination to be a coach.

1. There is a WHOLE lot of talk these days about Corporate Team Building. There are many, many options: vacation packages, rope courses, on-going office games, ice-breakers, etc. Management can also purchase videos, books, and seminar packages to assist them in building up their organization into a team worthy of belonging.

2. The truth about motivation is waiting to be grasped! It is ripe and ready for you to put into action today. Don't settle for mind-numbing gibberish. Get practical in 3 small ways to begin looking forward to your alarm clock sounding off each morning before you huddle with the team.

3. Experience is the best thing despite of what course you graduated in. There is something about being a people person who knows how to stir the energetic side of one individual, and more so when you mix it up with an entire team.

4. To question a person by his or her performance is sometimes required, but never question their knowledge or their intelligence. Sadly, I have seen a few mistakes from past coaches who never seem to understand what a player has to go through to get the job right. It will lead to further aggravation and maybe even hostility. If you want the job done right, then go do it yourself. You'll see how it is to be at the receiving end and it will help your set a much better course for improvement.

5. Sending a player to the bench is probably the worse experience a coach has to go through, especially if your player is the top performer. In dealing with this kind of person, see to it that he spills his guts voluntarily. Egotism in a performer tends to make them lose their focus on even the smallest mistakes, then you can catch him or her red handed. Be firm, but understanding about it.

6. Don't allow your position to blind you from what you are supposed to do. Even coaches are human enough to think that they are far more superior, but only by rank. Even if you have been in their shoes, it's better to dole out a piece of wisdom in order for them to realize that this will be for their own benefit.

7. Lastly, you should learn to trust yourself and your team. Decisions and performance are primarily your goals, and there are many of them to see if they could perform the task much more efficiently. So before you think about sending one member to the bench, have a good chat with him or her and see if they have any problems. If it's too personal, then just encourage them to do their best and it also helps to give them a good, encouraging slap on the back.

I guess there's all there is to it. Being a corporate drone myself, I know how important it is for a company to be successful, and we're all part of that success. Coaches are there not to make your work a little difficult just because you have either an attitude problem or not much a performer, but they're the guides who will help you perform as hard as you can possibly can. You'll do them proud one of these days, as well as yourself.

Thank you for taking the time to review our blog. We hope you find this series of articles related to self-improvement and development of benefit.

Keep Dancin’  Larry B

 

Things You Thought You Knew About Leadership

Much has been written about leadership: rules, pointers, styles, and biographies of inspiring leaders throughout world history. But there are certain leadership ideas that we ourselves fail to recognize and realize in the course of reading books. Here is a short list of things you thought you knew about leadership.

 Leaders come in different flavors and you will probably encounter more than one flavor in your lifetime. Formal leaders are those we elect into positions or offices such as the senators, congressmen, and presidents of the local clubs. Informal leaders or those we look up to by virtue of their wisdom and experience such as in the case of the elders of a tribe, or our grandparents; or by virtue of their expertise and contribution on a given field such as Albert Einstein in the field of Theoretical Physics and Leonardo da Vinci in the field of the Arts. Both formal and informal leaders practice a combination of leadership styles.

·Lewin’s three basic leadership styles – authoritative, participative, and delegative

·Likert’s four leadership styles – exploitive authoritative, benevolent authoritative, consultative, and participative

·Goleman’s six emotional leadership styles - visionary, coaching, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and commanding.  

Certain people seem to be born with innate leadership qualities, without the right environment and exposure, they may fail to develop their full potential. So like learning how to ride a bicycle, you can also learn how to become a leader and hone your leadership abilities. Knowledge on leadership theories and skills may be formally gained by enrolling in leadership seminars, workshops, and conferences. Daily interactions with people provide the opportunity to observe and practice leadership theories. Together, formal and informal learning will help you gain leadership attitudes, gain leadership insights, and furthering the cycle of learning. You do not become a leader in one day and just stop. Life-long learning is important in becoming a good leader for each day brings new experiences that put your knowledge, skills, and attitude to a test.

The best way to develop leadership qualities is to apply it to your own life. As an adage goes “action speaks louder than words.” Leaders are always in the limelight. Keep in mind that your credibility as a leader depends much on your actions: your interaction with your family, friends, and co-workers; your way of managing your personal and organizational responsibilities; and even the way you talk with the newspaper vendor across the street. Repeated actions become habits. Habits in turn form a person’s character.

Leadership is shared and not the sole responsibility of one person, but rather a shared responsibility among members of an emerging team. A leader belongs to a group. Each member has responsibilities to fulfill. Formal leadership positions are merely added responsibilities aside from their responsibilities as members of the team. Effective leadership requires members to do their share of work. Starting as a mere group of individuals, members and leaders work towards the formation of an effective team. In this light, social interaction plays a major role in leadership. To learn how to work together requires a great deal of trust between and among leaders and members of an emerging team. Trust is built upon actions and not merely on words. When mutual respect exists, trust is fostered and confidence is built.

Leadership styles depend on the situation. Aside from culture, beliefs, value system, and form of government, the current situation of a nation also affects the leadership styles used by its formal leaders. There is no rule that only one style can be used.  Leaders employ a combination of leadership styles depending on the situation. In emergency situations such as periods of war and calamity, decision-making is a matter of life and death.  A nation’s leader cannot afford to consult with all departments to arrive at crucial decisions. The case is of course different in times of peace and order---different sectors and other branches of government can freely interact and participate in governance. Another case in point is in leading organizations. When the staffs are highly motivated and competent, a combination of high delegative and moderate participative styles of leadership is most appropriate. But if the staffs have low competence and low commitment, a combination of high coaching, high supporting, and high directing behavior from organizational leaders is required.

Now that you are reminded of these things, keep in mind that there are always ideas that we think we already know; concepts we take for granted, but are actually the most useful insights on leadership.

Thank you for taking the time to review our blog. We hope you find this series of articles related to self-improvement and development of benefit.

Keep Dancin’  Larry B

Vision of Success

Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. Similar to a map, you need to define the following details: origin, destination, vehicle, backpack, landmarks, and route.

Origin: A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior high school student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status.  You can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. She believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.

Destination: It is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.

Vehicle: A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. It was then her vision-mission to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.

Travel Bag: Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. There is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.

Landmarks and Route: Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound.  You cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.

Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes: The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly. This may seem never ending but with perseverance you will succeed.

Thank you for taking the time to review our blog. We hope you find this series of articles related to self-improvement and development of benefit.

Keep Dancin’   LB

 

I am a Nurse!

I started my career in Health Care when I was still in High School by working at Sells Nursing Facility, first as the night and weekend cook. I moved from the Kitchen to Activity Director. Upon graduation I went to college and became a Speech and Hearing practitioner.  I worked several years with severe behavioral and mentally disabled children and young adults, developing specialized hearing testing and nonverbal communication programs.  When the regulations changed for my field, I went back to school and became a Registered Nurse.   I just knew my career had to be in a health related field, my mission was to be a care giver.

I started my Nursing career in the hospital setting, with Orthopedic and Infectious Disease as a specialty. After several years in this setting, I moved on to Home Health which became my favorite arena for nursing.  Being able to go into a patient’s home and taking care of their needs was the most rewarding aspect. Not only did I enjoy doing nursing in the home for the patient but family education was equally as rewarding.  Home Health in rural Kentucky, you were not just a nurse providing care, you became part of the family.

Once I relocated to South Florida, I thought I would learn so much more about Home Health Nursing and was shocked to learn that in the hills of Kentucky we were doing far more in the home setting than was being conducted in the large metropolitan area of South Florida. The most discouraging aspect of doing Home Health in South Florida in the late 1980’s was that I never got to see the same patient twice. I did not have the same connection with my patients that I had back in Kentucky where you were assigned a patient/family and you were their primary nurse till discharged from services.

Becoming discouraged with the Home Health arena in South Florida, I came across an advertisement asking nurses looking for a change in their career. I went to the open house this company was having and became a Field Case Manager with a company called International Rehabilitation Associates, which later became Intracorp.  I was hooked in a matter of months with this new aspect of nursing handling Workers’ Compensation Injuries. I was able to assist the individual to ensure the appropriate medical care was being obtained and move the individual back to a state of health prior to being injured on the job.

 I have moved around in this arena from Field Case Manager, Field Supervisor and Unit Manager. I even took a break from case management and went back to Home Health as an Administrator of an agency for a few years. I missed case management so returned to Intracorp.

The Case Management industry has changed over the 24 years I have been doing Medical Case Management. I personally don’t feel that the connection with the individual that was once a big part of the position is a primary focus in today’s corporate arena.

I have been wondering for several years if was time to get out of the Medical arena altogether. I just did not feel that connection with the profession that I had 31 years ago when I first obtained my license. That was until recently when I became friends with an individual that was diagnosed with cancer not long after we had met and developed our friendship. This friend asked me to be his cancer buddy and now care giver. After 5 months, I remember now why I fell in love with nursing, skills I have not used in years simply surfaced as if being in hibernation for all these years.

Sure I had taken care of other friends’ minor health issues over the years, took on care giver for my mother when she was diagnosed. This time it was different in some way, someone I had not known very long was depending on me to assist with the most critical health issue that he had ever encountered.

I have experienced a renewal of why I became a nurse and a case manager, to assist someone in dealing with the complexity of the medical profession and to ensure the best care possible if provided by all those involved.  I am a Nurse.

Keep Dancin’ Larry B

A New Young Hero

I was very active politically back in the 1980-90’s, I marched on Washington DC. I attended political rallies and worked at getting petitions signed. Then I just stopped. I guess I felt that I was just not making a difference. I was so wrong in thinking that one person could not make a difference in the political/social arena. I have discovered a young man that is making a difference here in Tennessee.

Marcel Neergaard is a Tennessee boy who was home-schooled for sixth grade and even contemplated suicide due to severe anti-gay bullying, bullying that many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender advocates say could have been fostered in public schools throughout the state if the “Don’t Say Gay” bill had actually passed.  

The bill, rejected in 2012, aimed at banning talk of sexual activity other than "related to natural human reproduction." It was resurrected by Representative John Ragan (R-Tenn.) this year as the "Classroom Protection Act." It included an amendment requiring school officials to inform parents if they have reason to believe the child might be gay. The bill also required schools to provide counseling for such students so as to prevent “behavior injurious to the physical or mental health and well-being of the student or another person.” 

 From what I can decipher from reading the bill, it would have required Teachers to respond to students trying to report anti-gay bullying by saying basically “that subject is inappropriate for your age group”. If the student was able to speak to one of the few school officials who can discuss homosexuality such as nurse, counselor, or principal that official would be required by law to report the gay or lesbian student’s sexuality to the student’s parents.

The proposed “Classroom” bill failed in March but prior to that, Regan was honored in 2012 with the educational “Reformer of the Year” award by the StudentsFirst, a group dedicated to defending the interests of children in public schools.

Marcel did not think Regan deserved such an award and wrote a petition to have StudentsFirst retract their award to Regan. Marcel was able to get over 50,000 + signatures for his petition.

StudentsFirst founder Michelle Rhee not only did she rescind the recognition, but Rhee also denounced Ragn’s bill as “ill-conceived and harmful legislation” that would have “cultivated a culture of bullying”.

This young boy is a hero in my eyes and his parents are heroes for supporting their son in this venture. Here is Marcel’s video:   http://youtu.be/U54Px3jvr_Y

So Thank you Marcel for renewing my faith that a single person can make a difference in bringing about political/social change. That one person standing up for what they know is the right thing is a force to be reckoned.

We should all be proud of who we are, we should not let anyone bully us or anyone. We should stand up for ourselves and for those not able to do so on their own. 

Keep Dancin’ Larry B.