Friendship

This is a repost of an article that was published back in January and inspired by my Friend Luke Henry.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

Friendship is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. As such, friendship is undoubtedly central to our lives, in part because the special concern we have for our friends must have a place within a broader set of concerns, including moral concerns, and in part because our friends can help shape who we are as persons.

Developing friendships can be difficult in today’s society. Who can you trust with the intimate details of your life?  Who is not just out there to use you and then discard you once they achieve their goal? We face this every day and moving to a new location only emphasizes the difficulty of meeting and making new friends.

Yet there are times in your life that you happen to talk to a person for short time, then by chance meet them again. You talk and in only a few moments of conversation you know in your heart that this is a good person and worthy of exploring a friendship. I have had this awesome experience a few times in my life that only after a brief conversation knew that person and I would become long lasting friends.

This recently occurred and I know my life has been enriched by meeting this person.  This new found friend is someone that I instantly felt comfortable to open my life too and have developed a close connection within just a short time.  They say the Good Lord places people in our lives at certain times for a reason and I believe this to be the case.

For there is no other reason I can think of that we would meet; start developing such a great friendship and then he is diagnosed with Cancer.  I felt cheated, upset, and simply royally pissed off. I mean why him and why now.  God knows I don’t make friends easily; this hillbilly can be a difficult person to deal with to say the least.  So yes, I was a little ticked off.

Since my Mom’s passing, I call upon her for guidance; she after all is one of my guardian angels. As I was talking to her the other night, this beautiful white tail Doe walks out of the woods and comes within 20 feet of me. She did not run off but simply stood there and stare directly at me. For me that was the sign I needed, I knew I was on the right path at this juncture in my life.

I knew in my heart what I had to do, first I had to come to terms with the fact that my friend was in a crisis.  The next thing was simple; to have friends you have to be one and I am determined to be the best friend this individual has ever had in his life. 

Of course, I have teased him because you know laughter is the best medicine; He now has to deal with the stubborn Hillbilly who will badger him to stay motivated, positive and to take every day by the horns.  

The following are two quotes that really hit home for me when it comes to friendship. The first is just one I think is cute yet true, the last one is one that is close to my heart and the way I feel about my friends.

“If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them; I'd be at the bottom to catch them.”

A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain, than to have to watch their friend suffer.
-- Amanda Gier

So yes, as always WE will Keep Dancin’ Larry B

A Visit with Dad

As my title implies, I am at the beginning of another visit with my father. Now that we have moved to Tennessee, we get to have more visits with Dad than his yearly visit to his sons in Florida.  He continues to drive a Semi 5 days a week and now he uses his visits to see his kids in Tennessee as his mini vacations. For now he gets to see all his kids in one visit since my sister and I live in the same city and less than two miles apart.

He is known to avoid major highways and probably has seen more of this country, than most of us, due to this habit. My mother use to complain about taking longer to get to my house each year because Dad could not stay on the major highway. Truth be known, I believe her complaining simply inspired him to find alternative routes even more.

Dad was always a little of a mystery to me, growing up in rural Missouri.  His laid back approach to life was simply confusing to me. You see, I tend to take after my mother, Type AA, if you know what I mean. So growing up, I just never got, who this man was and how he just seem to not be bothered by anything.  I know now that part of this appearing not to be bothered is a fantastic performance,  he only lets a few in to see the real man.

As now as we get to spend more time together, I learn a little more about how his simple yet complex approach to life has developed.  He simply keeps himself on a schedule and does what needs to be done to maintain his well being and his way of life. I look back now and see that this way of life has always been his approach. You see as a young man with his Mother's Type AA approach to life, I just could not understand how he could just let someone do him wrong and he just shrug it off as a learning experience with that individual.

What I did not understand is he would adjust how he dealt with that individual to the point that they had no direct bearing on him or his family. The slow approach to conflict resolution was something I could not grasp. I understand now that it was his down to earth upbringing by his grandparents that instilled this man with the wisdom to let the world unfold around you and you choose what fits into your life. It is this understanding of my father that has brought us closer over the past 5 years. I have a better understanding of his relationship with my mother, it was their differences that complimented each other and brought out the best in each of them.

I realize how much I still have to learn from this man, my Father, my Dad and my friend.  I now understand how part of each parent is instilled in my actions and how I perceive the world around me. My goal is to find the perfect balance of both and turn it into my own unique way of dealing with life. 

Keep Dancin’ Larry B.