Weekend in Southeast Missouri

We just returned from spending the weekend with my Dad. As always, it was a great visit with a Dad, and as many other family members we can see in a 24 hour period. It seems that now when I visit something always triggers a memory from my youth. This time was no different; the trigger was a beautiful clear crispy January morning.

As we were cruising the back roads between Benton, MO and Charleston, MO on our way back home, the only thing in the blue sky were jet vapor trails. I instantly recalled sitting in the back of my Dad's pickup after tossing bales of hay to the cattle on another clear crisp January looking at vapor trails and wondering what wonderful places all those people were going and I wanted to be one of them. Of course, at the time all I saw in my immediate future was another school year interrupted by a summer of working on the farm.

As I grew older I knew I wanted more than what I thought the rural area could offer me. I jumped on every opportunity to get away from SE Missouri. After college, I started heading east till I got to Lexington, KY then spent over 20 years in Tamarac, FL before returning to the Midwest. I have been in 14 countries to date. I have been one of those people in the jets leaving vapor trails over other rural areas.

Yet it was not till we moved back did I fully realize that the area I felt could not offer a young Missouri farm boy anything was exactly what I was missing. It is true you can never return home, but you can go back for those special memories. To reflect on your life and the choices you made to get to where you are in your life.

I would not change much in my choices over the years; it was those choices that have placed me where I am today. It all started in a pickup in a field on a cold winter day in Southeast Missouri.

 

Keep dancin' Larry B.

 

A Visit with Dad

As my title implies, I am at the beginning of another visit with my father. Now that we have moved to Tennessee, we get to have more visits with Dad than his yearly visit to his sons in Florida.  He continues to drive a Semi 5 days a week and now he uses his visits to see his kids in Tennessee as his mini vacations. For now he gets to see all his kids in one visit since my sister and I live in the same city and less than two miles apart.

He is known to avoid major highways and probably has seen more of this country, than most of us, due to this habit. My mother use to complain about taking longer to get to my house each year because Dad could not stay on the major highway. Truth be known, I believe her complaining simply inspired him to find alternative routes even more.

Dad was always a little of a mystery to me, growing up in rural Missouri.  His laid back approach to life was simply confusing to me. You see, I tend to take after my mother, Type AA, if you know what I mean. So growing up, I just never got, who this man was and how he just seem to not be bothered by anything.  I know now that part of this appearing not to be bothered is a fantastic performance,  he only lets a few in to see the real man.

As now as we get to spend more time together, I learn a little more about how his simple yet complex approach to life has developed.  He simply keeps himself on a schedule and does what needs to be done to maintain his well being and his way of life. I look back now and see that this way of life has always been his approach. You see as a young man with his Mother's Type AA approach to life, I just could not understand how he could just let someone do him wrong and he just shrug it off as a learning experience with that individual.

What I did not understand is he would adjust how he dealt with that individual to the point that they had no direct bearing on him or his family. The slow approach to conflict resolution was something I could not grasp. I understand now that it was his down to earth upbringing by his grandparents that instilled this man with the wisdom to let the world unfold around you and you choose what fits into your life. It is this understanding of my father that has brought us closer over the past 5 years. I have a better understanding of his relationship with my mother, it was their differences that complimented each other and brought out the best in each of them.

I realize how much I still have to learn from this man, my Father, my Dad and my friend.  I now understand how part of each parent is instilled in my actions and how I perceive the world around me. My goal is to find the perfect balance of both and turn it into my own unique way of dealing with life. 

Keep Dancin’ Larry B.

Thanksgiving 2012

What a difference a year makes, one year ago today, I was sitting in our Little House on the Bluff typing a similar blog entry.  Today I am sitting in our new home which I have dubbed Orchard Hills Big House. We have been in the house for 90 days and it seems like a lot longer time has passed. Luckily, I was able to take much needed time off from work so we could get everything settled before the cold weather hit.

 

This year we decided to break tradition of cooking and spending most of the day in the kitchen instead we took Dad and Sister to Lake Barkley for a Thanksgiving feast. It was  a beautiful day in Middle Tennessee with 70 degree temperatures and beautiful sunshine.  The only thing missing is our loved ones that have passed and our Florida Family.  

Growing up it in Southeast Missouri, Thanksgiving was always a family event, I am fortunate enough to remember everyone meeting at our Great Grandparents house for the day. The Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins all gathering for a day of home cooking, games and just being together as a family.

Those were special times; the extended family unit was together as one clan. As our society moved forward, it seems to have lost this one important aspect of the family.  The family unit is more nuclear in nature today than in the past.  We move further from the family to pursue careers and then everyone becomes so involved with their own lives that taking the time to be with extended family does not seem as important.

This happen to our family clan, as the great and grandparents passed on, my generation was the one that moved further away from the homestead. We were the ones that pursued those careers and just never seem to have any time to make it home for the holidays. I, for one, realized this but only after the passing of my Mother.

Thanksgiving was always a special holiday for her. She called it her mid holiday.  Halloween was the first because of my birth, then Thanksgiving and ending with Christmas. She always wanted the family together for the holiday and for so many years it was just never possible for all of us to be in on location for this weekend. 

 We made the decision a year ago to move so we could be closer to family and it has been the best decision. This past year has proven that point, being able to spend more time with Dad and my sister is priceless and it means so much to me. Every day and every month that passes I know I am only a few hours from Dad and only a few minutes from my Sister, it just feels right.

 Dad is splitting his nights between our house and sister's this year. It is the family joke now that we have to share custody on the holidays. It is just wonderful to have that opportunity each holiday. Tonight, he is back at her house and it is our turn for the last night of his visit this trip.

My Mother would be so proud to see her family finally together for the holidays.  I can hear her now, saying “I would love another cup of coffee but I have babies (dogs) on my lap” and of course, I or Paul would be the ones getting that cup of coffee.    I am thankful to be backing home with the family.   Now it is time for a cup of coffee in honor of Mom...  Happy Post Thanksgiving 2012.

Keep Dancin'

 LB

 

Ms. Honey's Great Tennessee Adventure continues

Well week two started off nice and warm, Monday, October 22^nd, Larry cooked on the big new grill on their deck, Cindy, Larry’s sister joined us for a great steak dinner. Did I mention I am following Larry and Paul’s diet program?  It is really good and lots of food, I cheat a little; it is hard teaching an old dog new tricks.

Tuesday, I went shopping with Larry, who took the day off from his hectic work. It was nice to be able to take my time and wander up/down every aisle in the stores. Paul is good to shop with if you have roller skates. But I love him anyway.

Wednesday, Paul and I went to Kirkland’s where I did a little Christmas shopping. He even consented and took me to the Dollar store which he hates to do but endures it for my pleasure. Thursday, it was off to buy a lovely electric fire place, an early birthday gift from Larry to Paul. Great news, I have lost three pounds since arriving and following the boys diet program.  I think I will keep this up.

Friday was icy rain and cold. Larry’s Dad surprised him by showing up that afternoon with his sister for the weekend.  Larry took us all to the Catfish House again and I had the best Fried Oysters I have ever had. No weight watchers night for me.

Saturday, October 27^th, Larry took us to the Nashville Flea Market at the Tennessee Fair Grounds. This is one of the largest flea markets in the country and held the fourth weekend of every month.  It was cold and windy but we did make it through two of the buildings, I could have spent all three days there.  Larry took us to a great Sushi/Japanese restaurant on the way home. Everyone has seen the lovely photo of Paul and I passed out in the back of the van on the trip back to Clarksville. I still have to get Larry for that one.

Sunday, Paul made a wonderful breakfast for everyone. We visited with Larry’s Dad before he left to go back to Missouri. Larry prepped a casserole for dinner and then the three of us then did the Sunday Schmoozing to Sam’s and the boys bought another electric fireplace for the master bedroom. Then it was home to relax at home while Larry created a new flower bed on the west side of the house for the mums to take residence and mowed his lawn.  Chef Larry then finished up the casserole for dinner, a wonderful Butternut Squash Shepherd’s Pie. They are sure making it hard for me to go home. One more week to go and I have lost another 2 pounds.

Till next time

A Thinner “Old Southern Belle” Ms. Honey

Yahoo!

New Beginnings

Yahoo!

Nearly 11 months ago, Paul and I made the decision that it was best for us and family to relocate to Clarksville, TN. After much discussion and mental anguish, I approached my boss to request a transfer and was rewarded with the knowledge that she was not about to lose me to another State or office. So with the security of being employed remotely, we put the house on the market, thinking we might have to leave and deal with a long distance sale. Fortunately, that was not the case and the Florida house sold in two days.

So with a month to pack, deciding what went with us in our two vehicles and what would be placed in storage, our path was clear to make the final move to Tennessee. We had purchased the Little Condo on the Bluff a couple of years prior as our getaway location and now it would be our new home.

The Condo is a great little house, quiet and peaceful but the goal of moving to Tennessee was to eventually convince Dad it was time to retire and that we wanted him to live with us. Dad is the only surviving parent that my sister, Paul and I have and it is our goal to ensure he takes care of himself. So even though we loved living in the condo, it was not going to be our ultimate location.

After spending months roaming Montgomery County, we looked at multiple re-sells but no matter what we liked it was going to take thousands to make it suitable for ourselves. Our wonderful realtor passed on a link regarding a new subdivision approximately 3 miles from the condo. After touring the spec. homes in the community we found the perfect model. It had a Dad Suite and a bonus room that we could convert into 2 man caves. Plus starting from the ground up we could make all the modifications that we wanted from the start.

So after 5 months, we are now in the Orchard Hills house. We have spent the week moving, unpacking and purchasing to our bodies and credit card are totally exhausted. We are now awaiting the delivery of the Florida Storage and few items that we had to order to arrive. The Dad Suite is nearly complete and now the real work of convincing the Old Missouri Mule to think about retiring will begin in earnest.

Clarksville has become our new home town and we could not be happier. A new home, new neighborhood and starting Monday September 10^th; Larry B resurfaces with an International Line Dance class at the Clarksville Athletic Club. It is always stressful starting out on a new beginning but having family and support from friends it has been a great adventure. Granted it is one we do not plan to do again, Clarksville is the final stomping ground.

Till next time, LB.

Celebrating Dad’s Birthday

Dad came over for a 4 day weekend today, to celebrate his birthday with us in Tennessee.  Sister had told him she was coming to Missouri for his birthday. He told her he had decided to come here to be with all of us. Of course, Paul and I told him, we knew the real reason for his decision was the fact here he will be fed and pampered.  If Sister visited him it would be take out and diners all weekend. He got a good laugh out of that reasoning but he did not deny it either.

After his arrival today, Paul took him to his first stop during every visit, the local Library to pick up his weekend supply of books. It is always a reading marathon when Dad visits. He can read on average 5 novels during a weekend.  He will have read at least one book by the time this gets posted. (Make that two novels)

Tonight, we will take him out for a light dinner then go harass Umpire Richards for a couple of hours. (That was the plan before the games were called due to wet fields, so Sister and our Friend Kris met us for Chinese). We have to keep Dad up past 7 p.m. or he will have the household up by 3 a. m.  Saturday, Paul will make him his favorite breakfast of eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy. We will show him the progress on the new house and again describe his future Dad Suite. Although, we all know getting him to finally move and retire will take an act of God.

We will stop by Sister’s place for a while then head back to the little house on the bluff to relax. I plan to make my mouth watering, fall off the bone baby back ribs for Saturday dinner. Paul will make his famous baked beans and homemade Cole slaw. 

Sunday, for his birthday, Paul will make Dad a great breakfast. We will relax, read and watch Storage Wars, Swamp People and Storage Hunters. Sister will be over so better throw in some Olympics to that mix as well.  We plan to take him out to the New Catfish House so Dad can have “all you can eat catfish”.

Then it will be back to the little house on the bluff for a great home-made banana pudding, one of Dad’s favorite desserts.

Yes, it will be a nice quiet weekend pampering the old man and celebrating his 74^th Birthday.   Happy Birthday, Pop...

Till next time. LB

Parents

I only have my Father at this time in my life. Mom past four years ago and a day does not go by that I do not think of that woman.  I may have had my issues with both of my parents growing up and as a young adult. I never stopped loving and respecting them as my parents or as intelligent individuals. As I grew Older and Wiser, I realized the man I had become was due to their earlier influence. You may move far away from your parents but in the end it all comes back to your roots.

I just spent three weeks assisting my Father with a medical issue and it was worth every minute to ensure his recovery and well-being.  My Dad knows that I am close by and willing to assist in any way necessary. He, of course, is from the generation that does not want help or want to ask for assistance.  I have to practically badger him into accepting my assistance at times. Thanks Mom for that ability…

As parents grow older, it becomes more important to spend as much time with them as possible. You have to become their advocate in medical issues because their generation tends to accept whatever their physician says to do without question. After the experience, our family had with Mom’s illness, I learned a few things as a nurse, case manager and son.

Physicians do not listen to their elder patients. I don’t care how wonderful the physician may be, how excellent their reputation, they really do not Listen. It is up to you to listen to your parent; you after all know them the best.   Check what medications they are taking, are they appropriate. Dad is not one to take medication so I tend to find bottles that are practically full when I check.  What I have found though is some physicians will just keep prescribing a medication without really discussing with their elder client.  What might have been necessary a year ago may not be necessary at the present.

Make list of questions in regards to medications, complaints that your parent is stating, research the internet for them.  Take the time to be at the physician appointment to ensure the physician is listening to your parent.

Yes, Dad is a stubborn Missouri Mule and the next medical crisis will be another fight of wills. He will just have to remember I take after my Mom and her side of the family...

Till Next time. LB

House Hunting in Clarksville, TN

Although we are comfortable in the Little House on the Bluff, we have started looking for a larger home to accommodate the two of us and eventually Dad. Each weekend for the past month, we have been taking off in every direction to get a feel for the area and the neighborhoods we would like to consider.

 We like the side of Clarksville that we currently reside and would like to stay somewhere in the general area. We feel this part of Clarksville suits our needs and is close to the activities we like to do.   

I already have a dislike for neighborhoods that yards back up against each other, after only 5 months of having a backyard that looks out onto trees, valley and river. I get anxiety of thinking of having some yard rats and other people living directly behind me.  I have definitely gone back to my roots of country living.

We recently placed a bid on a foreclosure, which we are one of 10 bidding for it.  The house lay out is perfect for our needs. Dad would have his own living space, I would have my own office space and Paul could even have a space for his hobby projects. It has a garage big enough to put four cars in and a large fenced in back yard. Yet, the only thing I can think about is the 3 kids and 3 large dogs living next door, and no trees out back; I can see the whole neighborhood’s back yards.  Karen, our realtor, said “Larry, the kids grow up and move out, the dogs grow old and die”. My response “what the hell do I do till that happens?” I see a long summer of planting trees if we by chance are the lucky ones on this house.

 If not I won’t be that disappointed for Clarksville has lots of neighborhoods that still back up to natural forested areas.  I watch too much HGTV, because I immediately look for options to how the house is laid out and what can I do with the yard. My must have list is not that large, separate office space, garage, and a back yard that has no neighbors.  Yes, I would be happy to be in the hills with my closest neighbor being on the other side of the hill or valley… for now the Hunt goes on...

Till next week. LB